Zeal

As the end of 2010 rolls around taking the time to reflect on the year, your beliefs and values, can perhaps, help the move forward in 2011. It is important that the behaviors we manifest represent the beliefs and values that we have. C4K values zeal. Zeal is one of those words that accurately describes the commitment of a small group of people to launch Consult 4 Kids Educational Services for After-School. The journey began with the commitment to after-school, blossomed to the understanding and belief in the importance of developing staff, and resulted in the development of the C4K website. This journey has been sustained by the tireless devotion of a small group of people who had the ardor, eagerness, and zeal to share knowledge and expertise with other after-school professionals.

Kahlil Gibran commented, "Zeal is a volcano, the peak of which the grass of indecisiveness does not grow.” This has been true for C4K. Once made, the initial decision to develop C4K has guided the process. The team has learned much, experienced challenges of both technology and content overload, and persevered to launching the website services. If initial response is any indication, the journey was well worth the effort.

At C4K we firmly believe that a “small group of committed people can change the world.” We have found some of these quotes, inspirational.

"Through zeal, knowledge is gotten; through lack of zeal, knowledge is lost; let a man who knows the double path of gain and loss thus place himself that knowledge may grow." The Buddha

"When you are laboring for others let it be with the same zeal as if it were for yourself." Confucius

"Experience shows that success is due less to ability than to zeal." Charles Buxton

"Zeal will do more than knowledge.” William Hazlitt

Wisdom

As the end of 2010 rolls around taking the time to reflect on the year, your beliefs and values, can perhaps, help the move forward in 2011. It is important that the behaviors we manifest represent the beliefs and values that we have. C4K values wisdom. Wisdom has been defined as the trait of utilizing knowledge and experience with common sense and insight.” This definition provides a recipe for wisdom: knowledge + experience + common sense + insight. To understand the recipe, let’s look at the “ingredients.”

Knowledge and Experience: Although it does not indicate the amount of learning time and experience that must occur for wisdom to be developed, if we believe Malcolm Gladwell, that figure is around 10,000 hours. This is especially interesting when we live in a culture that expects instant gratification and instant almost everything else. Patience is not something that we foster.

Common Sense: It is also my experience that “common sense is not so common.” Although knowledge and common sense are not mutually exclusive, many decisions would appear to deny this. Common sense has to do with judgment that is not based on specialize knowledge, but rather a native or intuitive logic. Thomas Paine, author of Common Sense, used “plain language” to guide American colonists into understanding the logic of no longer accepting the authority of the British Government, thousands of miles away. Common implies that all people can possess this “sense” and when given an opportunity, most can.

Insight: Insight is the “ability to perceive clearly or deeply” not just the outward manifestations of a situation, but the inward or hidden nature of things as well. Sometimes insight is gained over time and other times it appears to be more “instant” especially when it comes to understanding a complex situation or problem or the significance of an event or action. My experience is that even when insight appears to be instant, it is, in reality a result of a thorough 360° investigation and much thought, both intentional and in the back-burner of your brain. To have insight a person must be willing to understand things rather than explain things—which is, indeed, rather rare.

Combining these unique ingredients into wisdom is a journey of learning and self-reflection. There are two interesting quotes that focus on wisdom, one of which is a Zen Proverb and the other by Juvenal. They are:

"Sometimes, simply by sitting, the soul collects wisdom." Zen Proverb

"Never does nature say one thing and wisdom another." Juvenal

Service

As the end of 2010 rolls around taking the time to reflect on the year, your beliefs and values, can perhaps, help the move forward in 2011. It is important that the behaviors we manifest represent the beliefs and values that we have. C4K values service. Service above self really has to do with the work we do each and every day that benefits someone else. Part of effective after-school programs focuses on providing opportunities for youth to give back to the community they live in through Service Learning Projects and Community Service. The difference in the two is the intentional embedding of academic learning and guided reflection time into Service Learning and not in Community Service.

The importance of service is also evident in the 40 Development Assets. These Assets have been identified as the 40 external and internal influences that affect a youth’s resilience and ability to persevere when things are challenging. There are 20 identified External Assets and one of the categories is Empowerment. In this category the importance of having the community value youth, see youth as playing a vital role in the community, and understand that young people can provide service to others as they work in the community, can be clearly seen. The role of the after-school program is to create a space in which young people can learn to value service above self. Children are not born with a “service gene,” but can, through participation in well-orchestrated projects, learn that service is as fulfilling and valuable as eating a good meal.
Albert Schweitzer, a doctor who committed himself to the well-being of people in Africa tells us, "I don't know what your destiny will be, but one thing I do know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who have sought and found how to serve."

Other quotes that focus on the value of service include:

"Those who bring sunshine into the lives of others, cannot keep it from themselves." James M. Barrie

"The vocation of every man and woman is to serve other people." Leo Tolstoy

"Service is what life is all about." Marian Wright Edelman

"The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others." Mohandas K. Gandhi

Justice

As the end of 2010 rolls around taking the time to reflect on the year, your beliefs and values, can perhaps, help the move forward in 2011. It is important that the behaviors we manifest represent the beliefs and values that we have. C4K values justice. Consult 4 Kids is committed to the intent of social justice. Social justice generally refers to the paradigm of an egalitarian society that is based on the principles of equality for all human beings and recognizes and respects the dignity of every human being. For some this may seem impossible, but over time, with intentionality, this can become a reality. Twenty-five years ago “Go Green” would have been simply a football cheer, and now, because of intentionality and education, recycling is being supported in most U.S. classrooms and cities. Not only is recycling top of mind, but there is an increase in the intention being focused on NOT using things that need to be recycled at all—even if it is as straight forward as the bags you carry your groceries home in. Recycling efforts have reached a critical mass, more and more people are getting on board, and the result has been viral.

The Civil Rights Movement in the 1960s certainly focused on the “fair and proper administration of laws conforming to the natural law that all persons, irrespective of ethnic origin, gender, possessions, race, religion, etc., are to be treated equally and without prejudice.” Progress was made and “justice for all” continues to be forwarded. Former U.S. Secretary of Education Ron Paige has stated that closing the achievement gap is the civil rights issue of this generation. After-school and other out-of-school time programs are an integral part of the solution. Students who attend programs consistently and stay for the full program can, in reality, get about 90 additional days of practice to master the skills and learn the material needed to successfully complete a year’s course of study. Couple this extra time with the relationships youth build with caring adults, and you have a recipe for success. After-school is an opportunity to move the needle toward justice.

Saint Thomas Aquinas stated, "Justice is a certain rectitude of mind whereby a man does what he ought to do in the circumstance confronting him." Let’s get on board to do what we, as Americans, ought to do and find social justice. Other quotes about justice include:

"Justice and power must be brought together, so that whatever is just may be powerful, and whatever is powerful may be just." Blaise Pascal

"Justice denied anywhere diminishes justice everywhere." Martin Luther King, Jr.

"Conscience is the chamber of justice." Anonymous

Integrity

As the end of 2010 rolls around taking the time to reflect on the year, your beliefs and values, can perhaps, help the move forward in 2011. It is important that the behaviors we manifest represent the beliefs and values that we have. C4K values integrity. One of the definitions of integrity has to do with moral soundness, but I think that it means much, much more than that. If a structure has integrity, it has unbroken completeness. Nothing is lacking. In this kind of integrity there is a consistency between what a person says he or she values and the actions that he or she demonstrates.

Integrity means being impeccable with your word. In all reality, the only thing you really have is your word and the actions that you take on those words. Young people ultimately want to know if they can trust you, if you are a person who says what you mean and means what you say. When you prove that this is who you are, youth can relax and trust that what you tell them will, in fact, be as close to reality as possible. Until you have proven that you are unimpeachable with your word, young people will be doing research to discover the truth. For example, when you and your students agree that you will leave the space you occupy during after-school better than when you got there, and you do not encourage them to keep things neat and orderly—picking up the trash, straightening desks and chairs, putting everything back when you got it—they will quickly understand that you just give lip service to wanting to leave the room in better shape. Intuitively they will begin to question everything you say, and you will discover that they become more and more challenging. They are trying to establish the boundaries.

Demonstrating that you have integrity will afford you the respect of the students that you work with. It will encourage them to have integrity as well. Integrity—being integrated or whole—(integer means being a whole unit or entity), will set you on a path toward unlimited success.

An Unknown Author stated, “Integrity is doing the right thing, even if nobody is watching.” Other quotes include:

"The most important persuasion tool you have in your entire arsenal is integrity." Zig Ziglar

“A single lie destroys a whole reputation of integrity.” Baltasar Gracian

generosity

As the end of 2010 rolls around taking the time to reflect on the year, your beliefs and values, can perhaps, help the move forward in 2011. It is important that the behaviors we manifest represent the beliefs and values that we have. C4K values generosity. For many people, generosity means being willing to give money, but a generosity of spirit is the ability to give or be ready to give freely, with no thought of return or profit, the very best of oneself. Generosity of spirit also means to be free from meanness and prejudice. This sort of attitude gives others permission to be grateful for what they have, but also to become willing to share.

There is a Proverb that likens the lack of generosity to a blacksmith’s bellows. The Proverb opines, “He who allows his day to pass by without practicing generosity and enjoying life’s pleasures is like a blacksmith’s bellows. He breathes, but does not live.” Generosity is not just about someone else enjoying or benefiting from something, it is about the reciprocation that happens between people when each person is giving of the best of themselves and the other person is receiving what is given with a full heart.

6,000 years of recorded history has been focused on finite resources and convincing people that only a few can control and have power over these finite resources. As we move into the Knowledge Worker Age, this attitude of scarcity is being replaced with one of plenty, the belief that we can all have access to all of the knowledge in the world and that our ability to work with that knowledge is what is important.

Be generous of spirit with the students in your program. Work with them to empower them to become all they can be. Two additional quotes follow:

"Real generosity toward the future lies in giving all to the present." Albert Camus

"He who allows his day to pass by without practicing generosity and enjoying life's pleasures is like a blacksmith's bellows. He breathes, but does not live." Proverb

"Be generous but not extravagant, be frugal but not miserly" Imam Ali

Flexibility

As the end of 2010 rolls around taking the time to reflect on the year, your beliefs and values, can perhaps, help the move forward in 2011. It is important that the behaviors we manifest represent the beliefs and values that we have. C4K values flexibility. Flexibility is the ability to adapt and change to suit different circumstances. Flexibility is what Angeles Arriens would define as, “Being open to outcome, not attached to it.” Flexible people have the ability to live with ambiguity and to roll with the ever-changing thinking that surrounds the job that they do.

After-school does not exist in a static environment. It operates daily in very dynamic surroundings. Ambiguity is the name of the game. Flexibility is the ability to live by the ethic of “current best thinking.” What this means is that when you learn new information, you change your thinking and adjust to the new reality. Flexibility does not mean weakness, rather it means being supple enough to make “lemonade from lemons.” Stay true to your principles and flexible in your strategies. Tom Robbins puts it this way, “Stay committed to your decisions, but stay flexible in your approach.”

Other interesting quotes on flexibility follow.

"Nothing in the world is more flexible and yielding than water. Yet when it attacks the firm and the strong, none can withstand it, because they have no way to change it. So the flexible overcome the adamant, the yielding overcome the forceful. Everyone knows this, but no one can do it." Lao-tzu

"I am a man of fixed and unbending principles, the first of which is to be flexible at all times.” Everett Dirksen

"Men are born soft and supple; dead, they are stiff and hard. Plants are born tender and pliant; dead, they are brittle and dry. Thus whoever is stiff and inflexible is a disciple of death. Whoever is soft and yielding is a disciple of life. The hard and stiff will be broken. The soft and supple will prevail." Lao-tzu
 

Discernment

As the end of 2010 rolls around taking the time to reflect on the year, your beliefs and values, can perhaps, help the move forward in 2011. It is important that the behaviors we manifest represent the beliefs and values that we have. C4K values discernment. Discernment is the ability to distinguish between things—what is right and what is wrong, what is effective and what is inefficient, what is important and what is simply urgent. Discernment is about developing judgment, and when it comes to working with young people, there are few things more important that good judgment.

Each day there are many influences that press in on us and demand our attention. Many of these things appear to be a “fire in our face,” and yet when we take a step back so we can discern what is really going on, we find, in many cases, that there is no fire, just noise and a lot of smoke trying to get our attention.

Judgment, or discernment, strengthens with age and experience. Malcolm Gladwell in his book Outliers, writes about the importance of having 10,000 hours of practice before we are able to accomplish success. He gives examples of the Beatles who played many hours in all night clubs before becoming an over-night success, or Bill Gates who began “playing” with the computer when we was in Junior High, and others who appear to have magically succeeded, when in reality they developed discernment through hours upon endless hours of practice.

The Wisdom Commons says that “discernment is the ability to grasp, comprehend, and evaluate clearly. It means we can see the true nature of things; it allows us to distinguish between what is real and what is imitation.”

Chanakya shares with us, "We should not fret for what is past, nor should we be anxious about the future; men of discernment deal only with the present moment." Chanakya

Lord Byron states, “Her great merit is finding out mine - there is nothing so amiable as discernment.” Lord Byron

Determination

As the end of 2010 rolls around taking the time to reflect on the year, your beliefs and values, can perhaps, help the move forward in 2011. It is important that the behaviors we manifest represent the beliefs and values that we have. C4K values determination. Determination is what keeps you going when things are not going well, when the “Easy Button” isn’t working, and especially when you begin to wonder why in the world you thought it was a good idea to begin with. Determination is what a baby exhibits when he/she practices walking, or the college student demonstrates when he/she gets a “B” in the course on Classic Architecture, and it is what helps you get up and out of bed every day and do the work that you do.

It is important that we understand the difference between being stubborn and being determined. Stubborn people will continue to do the same thing even when they are not getting the results that they desire. Determined people continually assess the situation and make the necessary adjustments to keep moving forward and accomplish the results that they desire. Determined people have a clear vision of what is to be accomplished and an openness to the methods (ethical of course) that will get them to the end.

Living in the Central Valley of California, we often used Sacramento as a metaphor for the “end result.” We made it clear to everyone that the goal we wanted to attain—Sacramento—was non-negotiable. The means of getting there—Interstate 5, Highway 99, Amtrack, plane, walking, or any other way that would end in Sacramento, as long as it was appropriate, was encouraged. No two people accomplish the goal in the same way, so embracing the differences in people makes you even more determined to accomplish results.

President Calvin Coolidge remarked, “Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education alone will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan "press on" has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race."

Here are some other quotes to remind us of the importance of determination.

• “It's the constant and determined effort that breaks down all resistance and sweeps away all obstacles." Claude M. Bristol

• "The gem cannot be polished without friction, nor man perfected without trials." Chinese Proverb

• "When nothing seems to help, I go and look at a stonecutter hammering away at his rock perhaps a hundred times without as much as a crack showing in it. Yet at the hundred and first blow it will split in two, and I know it was not that blow that did it - but all that had gone before." Jacob Riis

• "If your determination is fixed, I do not counsel you to despair. Few things are impossible to diligence and skill. Great works are performed not by strength, but perseverance." Samuel Johnson 

Creativity

As the end of 2010 rolls around taking the time to reflect on the year, your beliefs and values, can perhaps, help the move forward in 2011. It is important that the behaviors we manifest represent the beliefs and values that we have. C4K values creativity. Many times we think of creativity as artistic ability. Actually, creativity has to do with the ability to generate new ideas or concepts or to find new connections or associations between existing ideas or concepts. Creativity is the ability to think outside the box. One of the traits that is important in an after-school professional is the ability to think divergently. Divergent thinkers are not limited to thinking about ideas and concepts in the same way as they are currently defined. They are inventive and can be flexible in what they do. In his book, Outliers, Malcolm Gladwell discusses several ways to determine if a person is capable of divergent thinking. When hiring after-school staff we would obviously like to know if the person is curious, imaginative, can see the complex in simple terms, and can take a risk without being reckless. Gladwell suggests that one way to about a person’s creativity is to ask the person what he/she would do with a blanket (or you might want to ask about bricks.) Give the person a few moments to think about the challenge and then share with you the thoughts that they had. If they have only thought of one or two typical things, then chances are that the person is not a divergent thinker in the way that we need them to be in after-school.

If you are on an interview team, here are some questions you might want to ask, substituting your topic for the word “something.”

1. How would you describe something?
2. What are the causes of something?
3. What are the effects of something?
4. What is important about something?
5. What are the smaller parts that comprise something?
6. How has something changed? Why are those changes important?
7. What is known and unknown about something?
8. What category of ideas or objects does something belong to?
9. Is something good or bad? Why?
10. What suggestions or recommendations would you make about something?
11. What are the different aspects of something you can think of?

Joseph Badaracco tells us that "Sometimes creativity just means the daily work of helping others to see a problem in a different way."

Other quotes to consider about creativity include:

• "Creativity is the power to connect the seemingly unconnected." William Plomer
• "Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep." Scott Adams
• “Creativity takes courage." Henri Matisse
• "You must not for one instant give up the effort to build new lives for yourselves. Creativity means to push open the heavy, groaning doorway to life." Daisaku Ikeda

Confidence

As the end of 2010 rolls around taking the time to reflect on the year, your beliefs and values, can perhaps, help the move forward in 2011. It is important that the behaviors we manifest represent the beliefs and values that we have. C4K values self-confidence. Confidence is one of those words that speaks to a feeling of trust—trust in one’s own abilities as well as faith in somebody else to do it right. Confidence develops over time and can often be mistaken for a bravado or bluster that people demonstrate to keep others from knowing how very insecure they feel. When working with youth, helping them develop confidence has a great deal to do with helping them to set realistic, yet stretching goals, so that confidence is built on accomplishment and success. It is also helping youth set goals that help them develop the strengths and gifts they have.

As a child I had years of piano lessons. I learned to read music, and although certainly not becoming a concert pianist, I could, with practice, play most anything on the piano. As a young adult I became infatuated with the flute after hearing a wonderful flutist playing O Holy Night. It seemed to me that if I took a few lessons, I would be able to transfer my skills as a piano player to playing the flute. After all, reading music was reading music and I could certainly read very complex music. Also, playing a flute was consistent with playing the piano because both require that you use both hands and press the appropriate “keys” to get the sound you want. I purchased a flute, found a music teacher and expected to be playing O Holy Night in a month. Unfortunately, the music teacher did nothing to help me understand that while my comparisons between the piano and the flute were correct, there is a huge, huge difference. The flute requires that you learn how to blow into the instrument correctly and to control your breathing in such a way that you can phrase the music correctly. So after several months of practicing and trying to play music that I could read, but had not skill to play, I lost confidence. As I lost confidence, I also lost interest. It seemed like an impossible task, and so, I purchased a tape full of beautiful flute solos and have become an avid listener.

I learned much from this experience. One of the most important lessons learned had to do with building confidence and that it is done by helping set benchmarks along the road to achieving the goal. It also taught me the importance of not equating confidence with success, but with following through and continuing to be resilient and work through to the end. When it came to playing the flute, I was unwilling to follow the words of wisdom from Roslyn Carter, “You have to have confidence in your ability, and then be tough enough to follow through.” Helping young people understand their unique abilities and then to help them be resilient enough to keep moving on, is possible when we have confidence in ourselves, even when we haven’t accomplished the end result (yet!)

Following are some great quotes that address confidence. Consider them as you reflect on your own performance in 2010.

• Confidence comes not from always being right, but from not fearing to be wrong." Peter T. Mcintyre

• "Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy." Norman Vincent Peale

• "Confidence is preparation. Everything else is beyond your control." Richard Kline

• "The best way to gain self-confidence is to do what you are afraid to do." Author Unknown

Commitment

As the end of 2010 rolls around taking the time to reflect on the year, your beliefs and values, can perhaps, help the move forward in 2011. It is important that the behaviors we manifest represent the beliefs and values we have. C4K values commitment. Commitment is the willingness to put yourself on the line to ensure that something occurs. It is standing firm to ensure that your purpose is carried out. When you work in an after-school program, part of your commitment is providing a high quality program for youth, and another part is of your commitment focuses on ensuring that you are delivering exemplary performance—in other words, you are being a positive role model for youth.

Many people are reluctant to make a commitment. They seem to intuitively understand that if they give their word they will need to “make good” on it. So rather than commit, they say things like, “I’ll try.” (Yoda says there is no try only do) or “I’ll see if I can get to it”, or “if it works out.” Since everything we do gives young people permission to do the same thing, is it any wonder they give us the same responses when we ask them to make a commitment?

To make and keep commitments you must begin with the “man or woman in the mirror.” Commitment begins and ends with you. Keep promises to yourself and others. Be honest with yourself and others as well. Be loyal to those who are present and those who are absent. Listen, say you are sorry, and keep the main thing the main thing. Set clear expectations about what you are committing to do and the time frame in which you will accomplish it. Give people updates so they know the commitment is on your mind. Brian Koslow tells us, “To increase your effectiveness, make your emotions subordinate to your commitments.” So get out there and make a commitment, however small, and then keep it. You learn to honor huge commitments by honoring a thousand small commitments along the way.

Following are some great quotes that address commitment. Consider them as you reflect on your own performance in 2010.

• "Stay committed to your decisions, but stay flexible in your approach.” Tom Robbins

• "Commitment unlocks the doors of imagination, allows vision, and gives us the "right stuff" to turn our dreams into reality.” James Womack

• "The quality of a person's life is in direct proportion to their commitment to excellence, regardless of their chosen field of endeavor." Vince Lombardi

• “Individual commitment to a group effort -- that is what makes a team work, a company work, a society work, a civilization work.” Vince Lombardi

• “The relationship between commitment and doubt is by no means an antagonistic one. Commitment is healthiest when it's not without doubt, but in spite of doubt.” Dr. Rollo May

• “If you deny yourself commitment, what can you do with your life?” Harvey Fierstein

• “Great organizations demand a high level of commitment by the people involved.” Bill Gates

Care

As the end of 2010 rolls around, taking the time to reflect on the year, your beliefs and values, can perhaps, help the move forward in 2011. It is important that the behaviors we manifest represent the beliefs and values that we have. C4K values caring for others. Research tells us that resiliency is, at least in part, built in a young person because he/she has a positive relationship with a caring adult. What exactly is a caring adult? Is it someone who simply attends to your physical needs? Is it someone who says, “I love you?” Is it someone who spends time with you? Is it someone who believes in you and the possibility of you? The answer to these questions is a resounding, “YES!” Care is to have concern for, to have another’s best interest at heart, to intentionally hold another in unconditional positive regard. Care is not something to be earned by the receiver, it is a gift from the person who does the caring.

Care can be demonstrated intentionally and unintentionally, as well as in small and large expressions. Leo F. Buscaglia puts it this way, “Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.” Demonstrating to young people that we genuinely care about them is one of things as youth workers we are all responsible for doing.

Taking care of the young people in our program certainly means that we create a program in which youth are both physically and emotionally safe. Too often we focus on physical safety (essential of course) and turn a blind eye to emotional safety when we ignore bullying, unkind words, ostracism from a team, or young people simply acting as if one of their peers does not exist. As youth workers we must pay attention to both aspects of safety. As we have learned from Maslow’s Hierarchy, when safety needs are not met it is difficult to focus on building relationships and developing self-efficacy.

A few years ago a movie, Pay It Forward, captured the importance of Random Acts of Kindness. As a role model for youth, including them in service learning that will give them an opportunity to “care” for others, is important. Engaging youth in service learning or community service projects will help them) experience caring for others and the way that one feels when you know you have made a difference. Care for the youth that you work with. Celebrate with them and let them know that you are delighted to share a piece of each day with them.

Following are some great quotes that address caring. Consider them as you reflect on your own performance in 2010.

• “I feel the capacity to care is the thing which gives life its deepest significance.” Pablo Casals
• “Want of care does us more damage than want of knowledge” Benjamin Franklin

• “Caring is a powerful business advantage.” Scott Johnson

Accountability

As the end of 2010 rolls around taking the time to reflect on the year, your beliefs and values, can perhaps, help the move forward in 2011. It is important that the behaviors we manifest represent the beliefs and values that we have. C4K values accountability. In his book, The Speed of Trust, Stephen M.R. Covey makes the observation that when it comes to being trustworthy and building trust, you cannot talk your way out of a situation you have behaved your way into. With that in mind, what are some of the character traits that are essential both personally and professionally? In other words, what are the principles that those of us who work with young people should live by? It is a fact that one of the most important roles we play when working with young people is that of the role model. Every behavior we demonstrate gives permission to a child or youth to manifest the same behavior. (Certainly this means that when others demonstrate a behavior that we do not appreciate we must at least consider if and/or how we gave them permission to do that.)

So as 2010 comes to an end, what are those values that role models might want to consider in the list of “the” Top 13? Let’s begin with accountability. Accountability has been defined as the willingness to accept responsibility for one’s actions (and of course if willingness is not there, it becomes the obligation to account for one’s behaviors). Accepting this responsibility is the first step in becoming independent and opening the possibility of working with others in a state of interdependence. Dan Zadra comments about some favorite expressions of small children: “It’s not my fault. . . They made me do it. . . I forgot.” Some favorite expressions of adults: “It’s not my job. . . No one told me. . . It couldn’t be helped.” True freedom begins and ends with personal accountability." Demonstrating for young people that we accept responsibility for our actions, without excuse when we fall short, can go a long way to “undo” these bad habits. The fact of the matter is this, there are many things that can act as obstacles to our performing in precisely the way we desire, and the question becomes, with this being the truth, ‘What will we choose to do?’ ‘Will we let people know we will not be able to meet our objective?’ ‘Will we renegotiate a time frame?’ ‘Will we work more diligently to accomplish the task?’ ‘Will we try a new strategy and enlist additional support?’ Accepting responsibility does not mean we are always successful, it simply means that we are responsible.

Following are some great quotes that address accountability. Consider them as you reflect on your own performance in 2010.

• "Accountability breeds response-ability." Stephen R. Covey

• "We must reject the idea that every time a law's broken, society is guilty rather than the lawbreaker. It is time to restore the American precept that each individual is accountable for his actions." Ronald Reagan

• "Life is not accountable to us. We are accountable to life." Denis Waitley

• "Good men prefer to be accountable." Michael Edwards

• "We are accountable for our decisions in our personal life so why shouldn't we be just as accountable in our work life." Catherine Pulsifer